Calm before the storm?!

Since the engagement I have constantly been daydreaming of all things wedding. Pinning wedding goodness on Pinterest until my eyes are blurry and in general focused on the wedding. A major case of wedding brain as my sweet friend Holli says! :) Now that the wedding, which is affectionately know as "The Best Day Ever", is only 3 1/2 months away(OMG!!!!!! I never say that, but it seems appropriate in this case!), when I should be getting busy on the million things I have to do, I find myself constantly daydreaming about adoption. Weird, I know. Like my mom says, "Brooke, you have to get through the wedding first!" Although the wedding hasn't occurred yet, I am in love with that day already. I close my eyes and I can smell the flowers on a warm August day. Hear the laughter of all the kids playing in the lawn at the farm. Ahhh, it makes my heart so happy! I am marrying my best friend. The person who makes me feel beautiful, and loved, and I can be my silly self with all the time. There will be amazing music, and dancing, and even a prize jar. More on that sweet treat later! :)  I will be surrounded by all of the people that I love and looked down from Heaven on by those who unfortunately have departed this world too soon.(Miss you, daddy. xo) When I think about the wedding I get this light hearted joy and excitement similar to the way I would feel before traveling to a new destination, but much more intense!

I think my heart is so full of love right now, that perhaps that is why I have adoption brain. Don't get me wrong, I still have wedding brain, but for some reason I have adoption on my mind and in my heart 24/7 lately!

Today, though, I found myself overwhelmed with nerves and anxiety when I was researching adoption and what steps to take. Where to begin?! Wow, there is so much out there! I have to remind myself to stay focused and positive and know that this will happen when it is supposed to happen. It just makes me so nervous! I even found an article that instead of a "Dear Birth Mother" letter, couples make a video of themselves for prospective parents. Cool and scary all at the same time! I hope they don't come across some of the rap videos I made in the car that Jason snuck on Facebook. Or wait, perhaps my sweet rap skills will win her over?! A girl can dream, can't she?! :)

I would love to find a local support group for Jason and I to join after the wedding madness is over so we can get advice and tips from couples who have adopted or who are on their own adoption journey. If you are reading this and want to share your story or give tips and advice that would be amazing! :)

And now I have to get ready for our big move this weekend! So excited for this next chapter with Jason. :)

Lots of love!

Brooke

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it Author: Fleur Conkling Heylinger